There were more than 300 other young people gathered from across the country at a campaign training school I was attending. I was learning how to lead youth campaigns for elected office.
I was fully engaged in what I was learning until one of the presenters described how he and his friends had brought musical instruments to a presidential debate to disrupt the speech of their candidate’s opponent. Every time the opponent spoke, the presenter explained, they made as much noise as possible to drown him out.
My blood began to boil.
I disagreed with the tactics they were promoting. I wanted to get up and leave the room.
As I stood up to leave, the speaker looked directly at me.
Nervously, I said:
“I can no longer sit here and listen to the ideas being shared about how to disrupt someone while they’re speaking just because you disagree with their viewpoints. Even though we may not like what they say, we can still respect them and their position.”
I sat back down to a round of polite applause. Obviously, others agreed with me. Like me, however, they may have been afraid to speak up.
It’s uncomfortable to speak up when we witness situations like these. But if we want respectful workplaces, someone needs to take the lead when disrespect occurs.
Dialogue is healthy. It’s important to have people who challenge the status quo. However, those conversations should never involve disrespect or rudeness.
Several years ago, I was leading an effort at a luxury resort to obtain the coveted Five-Diamond award. I attended training at a five-star hotel to learn how our resort could earn that distinction, too.
While I learned a great deal during the training, one concept stood out above everything else: the importance of a zero-tolerance policy for rudeness and disrespect.
If someone stole from your organization, they could quickly be fired. If someone engaged in harassment, it would not be tolerated. If an employee used drugs or alcohol on the job in violation of workplace policy, disciplinary action could follow swiftly.
Yet, in many organizations, disrespect and rudeness are tolerated time and time again.
When this happens, it sends a loud message: That kind of behavior is acceptable here.
One of the most important things you can do is speak up when you witness disrespect. Be brave enough to intervene, even when your viewpoint may not be popular. Don’t let rudeness and disrespect go unchallenged.
A good mantra for every organization comes from the familiar message we hear in airport security announcements: “If you see something, say something.”
The next time you witness disrespect, pause before deciding how to respond but don’t let that pause become an excuse for silence.
Choose a respectful, constructive way to address the behavior.
What message are you sending when you remain silent? And what might change if you chose to speak up?